Each of us goes through a variety of challenges as we move through our lives from childhood through adulthood.
Those challenges leave us with emotional and psychological wounds that can vary from superficial scratches to deep cuts.
How we respond to those situations is unique to each of us; and what one person may feel is not a big deal, another person may experience as profoundly wounding.
Over time, an accumulation of small wounds that are unaddressed could result in a deep emotional injury.
Often without our even realizing it.
And the strategies we adopt to deal with the slings and arrows of life as well as with circumstances that are profoundly hurtful — like losing a job, getting divorced, being the victim of a crime, chronic bullying and more — can eventually become ineffective and actively hold us back when we’re out on our own as independent professionals.
In this episode of The Courageous Entrepreneur Show, you’ll meet my friend and colleague Nancy Philpott.
Nancy is a registered Nurse, a hypnotherapist, and an emotional health strategist and coach. She’s the Chief Transformation Officer for Heart Sync Wellness Center and Founder of the Emotional Resilience Challenge and the Emotional Resilience Academy.
Nancy’s specialty is helping nurses, health professionals, military service members, caregivers, and their family members recognize, prevent, and recover from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Compassion Fatigue, and burnout.
Listen in as Nancy and I discuss…
Keep in mind that we’re speaking in big terms here. We’re not doctors and we’re not giving medical advice.
This episode is designed to educate and inform. So if you think you’ve got an issue and need help, contact a local healthcare professional and if you feel as though you’re at the end of your rope, be sure to dial 911.
Remember, it’s courageous and brave to ask for help.
Be sure to stick around until the end of the interview where I’ll share your reflection exercise and action step for this episode.
Nancy and her team of experts provide tips, tools, and emotional investment strategies to help you build emotional resilience. Go to EmotionalResilienceChallenge.com to join the free 10-day challenge.
You can visit her at HeartSyncWellness.com to learn more about the programs and resources available.
You can find her on Facebook.
Nancy on PsychologyToday.com
Aligning faith and work isn’t easy.
When business coach Ed Rush invited me to a workshop he was putting on in San Diego that he called Ultimate Breakthrough that would specifically discuss how to merge faith with growing a business, I knew I had to attend.
It was a great event for many reasons but it really through me for a loop.
While at that event I realized that there was a calling I was resisting. That event — and specifically Melvin’s message — helped me give in to that call and start this show.
I made sure to connect with him on Facebook and I make sure to watch his daily videos for my “daily dose of Melvin”.
If you’ve ever felt trapped in a pit of unworthiness…knowing you were called for more but afraid to take action, then I hope this episode speaks to you.
My guest grew up in apartheid South Africa as one of six children in a Hindu family. They were incredibly poor living in a tin shack with no running water. But he was greatly influenced by his mother and her belief in Jesus.
She used to tell him that if he ever wanted anything he was to pray to Jesus.
Melvin went from spending $2 to rent an audio tape of the legendary speaker Zig Ziglar to becoming a vice president in the Ziglar organization. Today, he’s a an advisor to CEOs, political leaders, and entrepreneurs looking to take themselves, their countries, and their businesses to new heights of success in a way that’s consistent with their faith.
In this episode of The Courageous Entrepreneur show Melvin reveals…
…and so much more.
You can reach Melvin…
Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill
Listen in and hear Alan reveal…
ADD.org – ADHD Support
Adult ADHD Overview (May Clinic)
We all have times when we want feedback on something we’re working on. Sure, we’re independent entrepreneurs but we all like to know what others think before we go too far down a rabbit hole or discover too late that what we’re working on isn’t going to fly.
This is one of the best things about Facebook and especially Facebook Groups, where contacts share their opinions and where you can get feedback pretty quickly.
I see lots of people asking for help throughout any given day and I’ve noticed some common mistakes made. We’ve all tripped over at least one of these. Which ones keep you from getting and benefiting from great feedback?
Before you ask for feedback or for people’s opinions about something you’re working on get clear about what you’re asking for, why you’re asking, who you’re asking, and what you’ll do with the opinions you get.
Ultimately you’re responsible for the results you get and being courageous means cultivating the ability to ask for and receive feedback, while having the confidence that you know enough and are good enough already to achieve your goals.
Millions of people dream of ditching their corporate or organizational job to start their own business. Hundreds of thousands of people do it each year, few of them are successful.
Watch and listen in as M. Shannon Hernandez shares…
Pick up a copy of Shannon’s book
Visit her website to learn more about the Content Personality(TM) quiz and Shannon’s offerings including her international retreats.
Join the Content Strategy Lab on Facebook
(Unfortunately this video and the audio are out of sync. Sorry about that. When I figure out how to fix the situation I’ll replace what’s here. Thanks for your patience. I’ll also have the audio-only recording up at some point.)
When my friend and colleague, Shanna Landolt, shared on Facebook that she deals with depression I was shocked and moved.
I couldn’t believe that someone who appeared to have it all together — a thriving business…appearances in the media…..multiple best selling books. — could be depressed.
In addition to being a top recruiter in the pharmaceutical and biotech industries, Shanna is also a highly sought after media authority as a Career and LinkedIn Expert. She’s been featured all across North America on NBC, ABC, CBS, FOX, CityTV & CTV.
Shanna has authored 6 books and is a 4x #1 International Best Selling Author. She works with authors to launch their books as #1 Best Sellers on Amazon.
Entrepreneurs, Organizations and People interested in Career Advancement hire Shanna to create compelling LinkedIn Profiles that get them found for their expertise.
Organizations hire Shanna as a Keynote Speaker at Industry Events to share how to create a personal brand in your business using Social Media & LinkedIn.
So you can understand how I would look at her and all she’s done and think “She can’t possibly be depressed!”
But her post moved me because it helped me recognize and admit to myself that depression has followed me my entire life.
I could see I’m not alone as an entrepreneur who manages depression.
So listen in as Shanna shares…
Shanna’s book, Secrets From a Headhunter
Official definition of Depression at the American Psychological Association’s website
Shanna is an expert at creating LinkedIn profiles that get people found. If you want to learn more visit this link and check out her LinkedIn Profile Writing Service. When you talk to her be sure to tell you that you watched / heard her interview with me on The Courageous Entrepreneur Show! You’ll save $100.
The book, Brand Power Builder and its author, Duncan Moss of Moss Media Solutions.
This book is a field guide for serious entrepreneurs and business owners who understand the importance of owning and growing a strong Internet presence. You’ll discover the 9 powerful steps to:
You can get the Kindle version of the book on Amazon.
This an edited episode of my livestream show, The Courageous Entrepreneur. It airs Monday through Friday at 11:30am ET on Facebook. You can visit my business page to watch all of the unedited videos and Like the page to get notified when I go live.
Once we make the decision to go out on our own, it’s inevitable that we’ll start comparing ourselves to others who are also self-employed.
This type of behavior is deeply ingrained in us and can be seen in toddlers who recognize that another child has something they don’t and then baby B tries to take that thing away from baby A.
Growing up we’re compared to siblings, classmates, and neighbors in addition to seeing mass media and comparing ourselves to the rail thin models, journalists, and actors.
There’s healthy comparison which can work to empower us and then there’s unhealthy comparison which works to disempower and demoralize us.
Let’s look at the two of them.
Healthy comparison happens when you’re doing research and you look at the leaders in your profession or industry and you search for best practices and what works with the focus on reducing your learning curve or your path on the way to a specific outcome.
You look at websites for what’s working in terms of layout and content. You study offerings to see how things are packaged.
Then you think about what you’ve found and borrow what you like that works and modify it to fit yourself and your background.
During healthy comparison you don’t judge yourself as lacking or the other person as better than you. They’re where they are on their path and you’re where you are on yours.
Unhealthy comparison is when you look at what others do and focus on your inadequacy.
They’ve got a better website. They’re more successful. They’re more attractive. They speak better. Their message is more powerful.
Here the focus is not on what you can learn from them but on how lacking you are.
For an entrepreneur this is the path to depression, frustration, and misery.
This sort of comparison can happen even in supposedly supportive groups like a mastermind, accountability, or course group and that can lead to competition within the group.
But that’s not exactly negative.
Healthy competition is when the success of one person doesn’t mean failure for another. Where each member of the group is truly happy for the other and uses their colleague’s success as inspiration. Another’s success can be motivating. This happened with me when I met my friend John Cote, the host of the podcast Healthcare Elsewhere.
I met John not long after he launched the show and found his story so inspiring that I decided to launch my own show.
John’s attitude was “if I can do it anyone can” and I believed that too.
They’re different and we’re different.
But I think we all know the pain of comparing ourselves – especially in business – and finding ourselves lacking. Like I said, it can lead to depression and demotivation.
Here are 7 things you can do.
Focusing on your own issues…taking care of yourself…being grateful for everything in your life…all of that is important for you to manage your stress, stay motivated, and to continue growing in a healthy way.
This video is an edited recording of my live show. Below is a post based on this video. The Courageous Entrepreneur airs live on Facebook Mondays through Fridays at 11:30am ET. If you’re on Facebook, Like my business page to get notified of when I’m going live. I also share tips and strategies to break free from the chains of disempowering patterns, limiting beliefs, and self-sabotage. You can also send me a Friend request on my personal page.
I had 2 people in the last 4 weeks refer to me as “authentic.”
Merriam-webster.com has several definitions for Authentic including “worthy of acceptance or belief”; “not false or imitation”; and “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character”.
I’ve always thought of that term — “authentic” — as referring to people are are transparent…they don’t hide things.
I asked a Facebook group for what they’re trying to communicate about a person when they refer to them as “authentic” and this is what a couple of them said…
“They are ‘real’, they show who they are without apology, what you see is what you get, warts and all.” – Alan Cohen
“That their actions, behaviors, and words. How they treat others and how they show up when they think it doesn’t matter lines up with what they espouse.” – Meshell R. Baker
So calling someone authentic is high praise.
But being authentic is scary. Especially for someone like me who’s an introvert.
I do videos because I don’t want really want to leave my house.
Authenticity is scary because we risk being judged and we risk rejection.
Is there a limit to being authentic? If you decide to embrace authenticity, does that mean you’ve got to share every detail of your life and risk becoming one of the Kardashians?
I don’t think so.
But the benefits of being more of the real you and letting others see that are that it increases your Know-Like-Trust Quotient or your KLT-Q.
Studies have proven that decisions are made based on emotions and then rationalized through our intellect.
And we know that we all want to work with experts but we want to know, like, and trust those people.
We want to know the expert or authority “gets” us. Often that comes from learning about their backstory or their “origin” story.
So being fully you is an important part of positioning and pre-selling your services to attract great clients.
How do you become more authentic?
You apply these 3 components…
Be true to yourself. This can be hard because after being employees for so long it’s difficult to know what our own beliefs and values are. I think this requires a lot of introspection in order to uncover your values but it also requires a lot of courage to live and act in a way that’s consistent with them because of that fear of rejection.
Here’s a great list of values that can help you identify what’s really important to you.
There’s a level of transparency that’s required for someone to be called “authentic”. You convey your personality in many ways….in your visual branding, your verbal branding, and in the amount of information and back story you share.
This is another reason why I forced myself to embrace video. It allows you to see and hear me and get a feel for my personality and beliefs. It can be hard to communicate that in writing.
Make values-based choices. We often project emotions, values, and beliefs on to other people when we hear what they say and watch what they do. We’re always on the alert for any inconsistency. For others to believe you’re making values-based choices your values need to be visible and audible to others. This again is why I love livestreaming and podcasting. Whether you’re a guest on someone else’s show or you decide to step out and host one yourself your voice and expressions are powerful communicators. To be seen as making values-based choices you need to be comfortable sharing your values.
That can be very difficult for some of us.
So how do you be true to yourself, be transparent, and communicate that you make values-based choices?
Here are 5 tactics.
Create a manifesto or a credo. That’s a statement of beliefs. It can be in narrative form a la Jerry Maguire or it can be a list of beliefs. Either way it shows people what you stand for . You can decide to post it where people can easily see it — like on your About page or somewhere else — or you can keep it for yourself and your team. It can act as a reminder of what you stand for.
Let people in. This is particularly important when you run a small business, especially when you’re the brand of the business. I’m pretty reserved on social media – I typically don’t talk politics. I don’t talk very much about family. But every now and then I talk about my cats and show pictures of them. I sometimes ask for prayers for people who are sick. I share animal videos, especially if they’re really cute or really silly. I think of Facebook as where I work and I share the same sort of things with my virtual office mates as I would with live ones.
Don’t use the fact that you’re an introvert as an excuse to stay hidden and to not join the conversation. People truly want to know more about you, about why you started your business, and about who you are. Remember, we make decisions based on emotions and we work with people we know, like, and trust. If you don’t let people in then they aren’t going to have much to base their decisions on.
Use real pictures. People want to see you. They want a peak inside your life and work. So minimize the use of stock photography on your website. Showing real pictures of you, your team, your office and other real objects can help others create a connection with you.
Take a stand . The problem with trying to please everyone is you really please very few people if any. If you truly want to attract clients rather than chase after them, you’ve got to make it clear what you stand for. Clearly communicate your point of view (POV). Be clear on the problem you solve, the solution you offer, and the outcome or transformation you provide. The more people understand what you’re for the more they can feel a connection and see themselves working with you.
Don’t try to be perfect. It’s easy to be afraid to make mistakes. After all, we spent decades in corporate life watching others be punished for their mistakes. We also lived with the fear of being seen as week or not good enough. And if you have a natural tendency towards perfectionism corporate life only encouraged that. And out on your own it can be easy to carry those beliefs with you. Do your best. Manage client expectations. Be honest about what you can and can’t do and don’t exaggerate or lie. It’s ok to admit your mistakes. And it’s ok to share negatives from your past. Especially if it shows you as human and helps your audience relate to you.
Being authentic doesn’t mean that you over-share and provide a nonstop stream of social media posts about every aspect of your life.
But it does mean finding a way to come out of your shell and create more of connection with your audience by sharing more of yourself.
More of your true self.
You maybe be pleasantly surprised to find it’s easier to create what you always wanted – a large, passionate following that sees you as you really are and values you because of it.
It feels like a never-ending process of trying to get noticed, inspire those who notice you to learn more, and then invite them to take the next step to work with you.
All of those things are very challenging for 4 big reasons.
You can’t change that.
But what you can do is embrace 5 actions that will have a big impact on growing your business and attracting more potential clients and opportunities…
So your reflection exercise for today is to think about what you’re doing to get known and be seen along with the emotions that’s bringing up and how you’re managing them.
And your action step is to make a list of all of the potential actions you could take to attract potential clients. Then identify what you’re not willing to do and what you are willing to do. Once you’ve got a handle on what you’re not willing to do you’ve got to ask yourself if you’re willing to accept that your movement may take more time than you want it to.
Look at your calendar and plan to do at least one thing to attract potential clients every day. You want to eventually aim for doing at least 5 things every day that will make you more visible and raise your Know-Like-Trust Quotient with those you’d like to connect with — whether they’re potential clients, potential referral partners, or potential collaboration partners.
Welcome to the Courageous Entrepreneur Show. This is the show that educates and inspires you to address the emotional baggage that’s getting in your way and break through to the next level of success.
In today’s episode, leadership expert Dr. Sylvia LaFair discusses how behavior patterns that kept us safe as children actively hold us back from achieving the success we want.
Get Sylvia’s award-winning books:
Gutsy: How Women Leaders Make Change (Sylvia recommends that women start with this one)
A special offer for the first 10 viewers! Contact Sylvia and let her know you heard / saw her on The Courageous Entrepreneur Show and get a free 20 minute consultation directly with her!
Call her at: 570-630-3858
Contact Sylvia via email at sylvia (at) CEOptions (dot) com (type that as you would a normal email address)