All Posts by Winnie Anderson

Go for Your Dream Featuring Entertainment Reporter Whitney Ullman

 

 

 

Welcome to the Courageous Entrepreneur Show. This is the show that shares information and inspiration to help you break free from self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and disempowering patterns and break through to create the thriving, successful business you dream of and deserve.

The show features interviews with entrepreneurs who’ve overcome amazing challenges to create success on their terms and experts who share insight and practical information that can help you get past your blocks and move forward with courage, confidence, and clarity.

The show is available in both video and audio format on a variety of platforms including Apple Podcasts – formerly iTunes – on You Tube, iHeartRadio, in the Google Play store, and on my website. You can find this episode on my website.

If you like what you hear I hope you’ll share the show with others in your networks and I hope you’ll decide to join my community. You can become a fan of the show on my site at Winnie Anderson.com/fans when you do you’ll get episodes delivered right to your inbox. You’ll also receive information, tips, and resources to help you come out of hiding, position and pre-sell yourself as the unique solution provider you are, and profit from your expertise.

Show Notes

What did you dream of doing as a teenager or child?

You might have had one idea or maybe lots of ideas.

When I was in third grade I wanted to be 3 different things that looking back now actually have some similarities.

I wanted to be an archeologist. Then I discovered Nancy Drew and wanted to write – I know you thought I’d say that I wanted to be a teenage detective.

It was actually a TV show my parents watched called The FBI that made me want to be a detective with the FBI.

Are you doing the work you’ve dreamed of doing?

Or is there some part of your heart that still wishes you had pursued your dream of being a graphic artist or becoming a doctor?

Well what if you decided to go for it?

Today’s guest is a rising star in the greater Philadelphia PA entertainment media scene and in this interview she talks about her path from mortgage banker and part time jewelry designer to becoming the face of entertainment in Atlantic City.

Whitney Ullman is an on-air personality and freelance entertainment reporter whose interviews and video footage have been featured on all major social media channels, as well as on local and national TV, radio, and web platforms. She’s a featured contributor to Fox 29’s Good Day Philadelphia. She is president and founder of WIN Promotions and Consulting. The services they provide include video production, talent staffing including promotional models, and public relations.

Listen in as Whitney shares:

  • How she got started in entertainment
  • Why she decided acting wasn’t for her
  • Why she gave up on pursuing her dream full time
  • How she leveraged a few opportunities into getting her foot in the door in entertainment
  • How she managed to keep moving forward when things weren’t going her way
  • The money scam she discovered and how she helped break it up
  • Her tips for making things happen in your business or career
  • As always listen in all the way to the end where I’ll share your cocktail exercise and action step for this episode.

As always listen in all the way to the end where I’ll share your reflection exercise and action step for this episode.

Related Past Episodes

Grace Bell – Challenge Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
Jeff Rock – The Power of Story Over Your Life

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

Mileage App – MileIQ: in the Google Play store

Guest Contact Information

Whitney’s main website GoToWhitney.com
WIN Promotions
Whitney on Facebook 
Whitney on Twitter 
Whitney on Instagram 
Whitney on LinkedIn 
Whitney on YouTube 

Additional Resources or Information on This Topic

Breaking Into Television 

A page of results in Amazon all related to breaking into different areas in the entertainment industry

Ready to Take Action?

If you’re ready to come out of hiding and attract clients by positioning and pre-selling yourself as the clear expert in your industry but…you know you need support to stay focused and to help you take action, then investigate becoming part of a group of like-minded solopreneurs working to do the same. Action Takers Groups enroll monthly. To find out when the next enrollment opens, Go here for more informatio

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learning to Love Yourself

To listen to this episode click the forward arrow to the far left on the play bar. To download it to your device and listen later, click this link. Look to the far right of the play bar and click the down arrow. Navigate to where you’d like to store the media and save it to your device. You can also watch this episode on You Tube.

 

Show Notes

Welcome to the Courageous Entrepreneur Show. This is the show that shares information and inspiration to help you break free from self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and disempowering patterns and break through to create the thriving, successful business you dream of and deserve.

The show features interviews with entrepreneurs who’ve overcome amazing challenges to create success on their terms and experts who share insight and practical information that can help you get past your blocks and move forward with courage, confidence, and clarity.

The show is available in both video and audio format on a variety of platforms including Apple Podcasts – formerly iTunes – on iHeartRadio, in the Google Play store, and on my website at Winnie Anderson.com/selflove

If you like what you hear I hope you’ll share the show with others in your networks and I hope you’ll decide to join my community. You can become a fan of the show on my site at Winnie Anderson.com/fans when you do you’ll get episodes delivered right to your inbox. You’ll also receive information, tips, and resources to help you come out of hiding, position and pre-sell yourself as the unique solution provider you are, and profit from your expertise.

Because I’ve dealt with and continue to deal with body issues, self-esteem issues, and I know how a poor self-image can hold us back in marketing ourselves and our work, I knew when I met today’s guest that I had to have her on the show to talk about this.

She’s also a great example of something that many of my guests exemplify and that’s using their wound as a driving motivator to help others.

As a body image expert, coach, public speaker and acclaimed author, Laura Fenamore is on a mission to help women around the world finally end the constant battle with their bodies and start adoring who they see in the mirror. Her approach walks students and readers through the heartfelt journey to self-love at any size or age, unlocking the secrets of the path to lasting physical, emotional, and spiritual health.

After overcoming a lifelong struggle with addiction, obesity, and eating disorders, Laura released 100 pounds – and has kept it off for more than 29 years. She chronicles this journey to self-love and health in her widely acclaimed book, Skinny, Fat, Perfect: Love Who You See in the Mirror.

For the past 12 years, Laura has worked alongside hundreds of women through her Body Image Mastery programs and public speaking engagements. She has inspired thousands more to release excess pounds, reclaim their self-esteem, and live bold, beautiful lives through her global online community at SkinnyFatPerfect.com. She also conducts classes and consultations from her office in Marin County, CA.

Laura is a frequent contributor to print and digital media nationwide, including “First for Women”, “Ladies’ Home Journal”, and “Better Homes and Gardens”, as well as an active member of the online community Positively Positive,. She also serves on the board for Impact a Village, a nonprofit dedicated to improving education and healthcare in developing nations.

Listen in as Laura shares:
• Her own journey from self-loathing to self-love
• How a nightmare of a childhood led to emotional eating and put her in an obesity clinic when she was in 4th grade
• How she bounced from an eating disorder to other forms of self-medicating including drugs and even thought of suicide
• The impact of society on men and women developing an unhealthy body image and even self-hatred
• The greatest protector we have and use
• How we inadvertently use food treats to reward and celebrate which can develop into an unhealthy relationship with food

As always watch all the way to the end where I’ll share your reflection exercise and action step for this episode.

Past Episodes That Relate to This One

Brodie Welch – The Courage of Self Care

Grace Bell – Challenge Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

Guest Contact Information

Laura’s website

Laura on Facebook

Laura’s private Facebook community

on Twitter

on LinkedIn

on Pinterest

on Instagram

on Google Plus

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

Laura’s book: Skinny, Fat, Perfect

Additional Information on This Topic

Emotional Eating? 5 Reasons you Can’t Stop – From Psychology Today

Weight loss:  Gain Control of Emotional Eating – From the Mayo Clinic

 

Ready to Take Action?

If you’re ready to come out of hiding, get out of your own way and know you need more support to stay focused and to help you take action, then investigate becoming part of a like-minded solopreneurs working to do the same. Action Takers Groups enroll monthly. To find out when the next enrollment opens, Go here for more information.

Selling When You Hate to Sell

To listen to this episode click the forward arrow to the far left on the play bar. To download it to your device and listen later, click this link. Look to the far right of the play bar and click the down arrow. Navigate to where you’d like to store the media and save it to your device. You can also watch this episode on You Tube.

 

Welcome to the Courageous Entrepreneur Show. This is the show that shares information and inspiration to help you break free from self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and disempowering patterns and break through to create the thriving, successful business you dream of and deserve.

I interview entrepreneurs who’ve overcome amazing challenges to create success on their terms and experts who share insight and practical information that can help you get past your blocks and move forward with courage, confidence, and clarity.

The show is available in both video and audio format on a variety of platforms including Apple Podcasts – formerly iTunes – on You Tube, and here on my website.

If you like what you hear I hope you’ll share the show with others in your networks and I hope you’ll decide to join my community. You can become a fan of the show and when you do you’ll get episodes delivered right to your inbox. You’ll also receive information, tips, and resources to help you come out of hiding, position and pre-sell yourself as the unique solution provider you are, and profit from your expertise.

Show Notes

If you’re like me – and like most professional solution providers….coaches….consultants….healers…and others who want to use their skills and talents to serve others – I’ll bet when you started your business you agonized over what you would call your business….what your logo should be and what your website should look like. But what I’m willing to bet that you didn’t spend much time thinking about was your marketing and sales models. I know I didn’t.

So then we realize our existing reputation in our industry or in our city is just not enough to have the best qualified potential clients contact us and say I’ve got a problem I know you fix and I’ve got a boatload of money so let’s get started.

But that’s what we want, right?

You secretly wish that people would just shoot you an email and ask for your paypal or stripe link so they can send you money.
We’ve got to work to attract the right clients for us.

We’ve got to have a process that helps them say yes to working with us.

I once gave a presentation where I shared information about why we struggle with sales and the truth is we only discover we hate it when we put ourselves in the situation of selling our services.

A woman came up to me after one of these presentations. She shook my hand and after she thanked me for the information and insight and said I realize now that I’ve become the one thing I ate most in the world.

She was talking about selling. She didn’t want to be believe she was a salesperson.

But you have a passion for what you do and you’re driven to help others dealing with the same problem. Plus….let’s face it…we all need money to live. To take care of ourselves…to care for our families….and we need money to run our businesses.

So we’ve got to get clients and we can’t rely on other people recommending us. Nor can we rely on them discovering us and clicking the order button on our websites.

How do you sell when you hate selling?

That’s what this episode of The Courageous Entrepreneur is all about.

You’re about to listen to my interview with leadership and sales expert, Dr. Nadia Brown. She shows women how to own their power, profitability, and purpose to lead. Nadia through her firm Doyenne Leadership teaches and coaches female entrepreneurs to greatness including exponential profitability.

Listen in as Nadia shares…

  • How to eliminate the ick factor when selling your services
  • How to change your mindset about sales and the giant aha she had that led to her own breakthrough
  • Why it’s important to have intensive or comprehensive packages
  • Why sales is like a one-pitch softball game
  • The dirty little secret of business and marketing
  • Why it’s important to tell your story…your own hero’s journey

As always, listen all the way to the end where I’ll share your cocktail exercise and action step for this episode.

Past Episodes Mentioned or Related to This One

Jeff Rock, The Power of Story Over Your Life

Grace  Bell, Challenge Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

Mark  Baker, From Abused to Abundant 

Guest Contact Information

Nadia’s website
Nadia’s Courage Diary free gift  — get your complimentary copy of the Courage Diary so you can build your courage and your bank account

Nadia on social media
Twitter
Linkedin
Facebook
You Tube

Nadia’s book, Leading Like a Lady: How to s

hatter your inner glass ceiling

(book link is an affiliate link)

Ready to Take Action?

If you’re ready to come out of hiding, get out of your own way and know you need more support to stay focused and to help you take action, then investigate becoming part of a like-minded solopreneurs working to do the same. Action Takers Groups enroll monthly. Go here for more information.

 

Become a fan of the show and get episodes delivered right to your email inbox.

 

 

 

 

 

The Courage of Self Care

 

To listen to this episode, click on the forward arrow to the left of the grey play bar. To download and save the episode to listen to on your device, click this link, then click the down arrow to the far right of the grey play bar. Choose Save As and navigate to where you want to save the recording on your device.

 

Welcome to the Courageous Entrepreneur Show. This is the show that shares information and inspiration to help you break free from self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and disempowering patterns and break through to create the thriving, successful business you dream of and deserve.

I interview entrepreneurs who’ve overcome amazing challenges to create success on their terms and experts who share insight and practical information that can help you get past your blocks and move forward with courage, confidence, and clarity.

The show is available in both video and audio format on a variety of platforms including Apple Podcasts – formerly iTunes – on You Tube, and here on my website.

If you like what you hear I hope you’ll share the show with others in your networks and I hope you’ll decide to join my community. You can become a fan of the show on my site at Winnie Anderson.com/fans when you do you’ll get episodes delivered right to your inbox. You’ll also receive information, tips, and resources to help you come out of hiding, position and pre-sell yourself as the unique solution provider you are, and profit from your expertise.

Show Notes

Corporate or organizational life is a bit crazy to say the least isn’t it?

Even though companies spend millions on health benefits they often can become toxic environments where stress runs high and people are often rewarded for bad behavior like being obnoxious, and even abusive.

If their numbers are good, they get promoted and rewarded with bonuses and nice offices.

I’ve always told people who lose their jobs or who voluntarily leave a position that they need to go through a detox period. They laugh and ignore me. And as much as I know that to be true I ignored myself.

Think about the places you worked for a minute. Was working impossibly long hours a badge of honor?

I worked for a company that wanted me to take a new job and travel 100% of the time. They were shocked that I turned the job down.

But the life of an entrepreneur is incredibly stressful too, isn’t it?

So much to learn, so much to do, and then there’s getting clients, getting paid on time, and managing your money.

We started our businesses because we wanted freedom, balance, and of course the chance to earn an unlimited income.

That’s the dream we bought. But most of us would have to confess we have a very hard job with the most demanding boss in the world.

We work crazy long hours and neglect our physical and even our emotional and mental health.

That my friends is a recipe for disaster.

We tell ourselves those are the sacrifices we make. We work harder than others do so we can live like others don’t.

The impact of stress has been well documented. It leads to a host of health problems that can negatively impact our quality of life and can even lead to an early death.

Combine stress with sacrifices we make – skipping meals, too little sleep, eating poor quality food, not exercising.

I don’t know about you but I neglect myself a lot and I know there’s a level of stress that’s exciting but there’s that level of stress that’s unhealthy and even toxic.

Then there’s this issue of faking it til you make it, right? We feel as though we need to pretend that everything is fine because we believe in the power of our minds and thoughts. But the brain is smart enough to figure out you’re saying one thing and doing another.

So when I met today’s guest, I knew I had to have her on the show to talk about the issue of entrepreneurial self-care.

Brodie Welch is a licensed acupuncturist, board-certified herbalist, Chinese Medicine expert and self-care strategist. She’s the founder of Life in Balance Acupuncture in Corvallis, Oregon where she has been treating patients since 2003.

In addition to her clinical practice, Brodie shares her expertise to help caring, conscious women take care of themselves through innovative learn-from-anywhere courses and coaching programs on stress management, digestive health, the body-mind connection, moving meditation, and Chinese medicine. She’s the creator and host of the podcast, A Healthy Curiosity. The show explores what it takes to be well in a busy world.

Listen in as Brodie explains:

  • Why self-care is a courageous act for every entrepreneur
  • What she calls the empty calories or snacks of self-care that really aren’t fulfilling us nor are they nurturing us
  • What exactly are yin and yang and how both concepts are critical especially in self-care
  • How our ego trips us up and actually prevents us from practicing good self care
  • How your good self-care actually benefits others

As always listen in all the way to the end where I’ll share your cocktail exercise and action step for this episode.

Guest Contact Information

• Get Brodie’s Free 5-minute breathing meditation
• Brodie’s website 
• Brodie’s Podcast, A Healthy Curiosity, on her website
• Connect with Brodie on Facebook
• Subscribe to Brodie’s podcast in iTunes
• A Healthy Curiosity Podcast on Facebook

Terms Used in This Episode That Might Be New to You

Yin and Yang

Chinese Medicine

Acupuncture

Herbalist

Conscious

Meditation

Research You Might Be Interested In

The Psychological Price of Entrepreneurship 

Entrepreneurial Stress is Real and Should Not Be Ignored

 

Looking for Support on Your Entrepreneurial Journey?

Join an Action Takers Group and become part of a small but growing community of solo professionals committed to achieving their goals and creating the success they dream of and deserve. Enrollment opens up monthly so check it out here and join the wait list for notification of when enrollment opens again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Adventure with the Kids Leads to Thriving Business

To listen to this episode, click the forward pointing arrow on the far left of the play bar. You can download and save the episode to your device to play at your leisure. Just click this link, then click the down arrow on the far right of the play bar. Choose <Save As>, navigate to the location where you want to save the recording and click <Enter> or <Save>.

Welcome to the Courageous Entrepreneur Show. This is the show that shares information and inspiration to help you break free from self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and disempowering patterns and break through to create the thriving, successful business you dream of and deserve.

I interview entrepreneurs who’ve overcome amazing challenges to create success on their terms and experts who share insight and practical information that can help you get past your blocks and move forward with courage, confidence, and clarity.

The show is available in both video and audio format on a variety of platforms including Apple Podcasts – formerly iTunes – on You Tube, and on my website Winnie Anderson dot com.

When I was a kid, my dad would talk about going on vacation to Homestead park. Which meant we were staying home.
Every summer we would take one day trip to the South Jersey shore and spend the day at our cousin’s house in Ocean City. That was about 3 hours round trip in the car.

We’d also take one day trip to another Shore spot – closer to the mouth of the Delaware Bay and we’d spend the day with my dad’s side of the family at our Aunt And Uncle’s house. Probably another 3 hour round trip.

So it’s a massive understatement to say it was hard to imagine spending months in an RV with one of my parents.

And when I think of the hours I spent in tears over a summer vacation trying to memorize the multiplication tables the thoughts of being home schooled give me nightmares.

But Gretchen Breuner did just that.

She took her kids out of school, packed them into a used RV, and set out on to give them an adventure they’d never forget and help them make the connection that learning was fun.

Even more surprising than the fact that she did it by herself and returned to tell the tale is that she discovered a whole new career and business. Her journey didn’t end when she and the kids pulled into the driveway. In many ways it was just beginning.

So listen in as Gretchen shares:

  • How she went from stay-at-home mom to advernturess instructor of her 3 kids
  • How listening to the voice inside her led her to build a thriving business after the trip
  • How continuing to tune into the voice and follow its guidance led to a new path for her and new direction for her skills
  • Tips to take your own adventure and turn it into a book or speaking opportunities
  • Lots of insight into how navigate your own personal and business growth journey

As always, listen all the way to the end and I’ll share your cocktail exercise and action step for this episode.

Terms That Might Be New to You

Talent — The term Gretchen uses to refer to any expert who speaks
Team — The term Gretchen uses to describe the admin help a speaker / expert may have or they may need but don’t have

People and Resources Mentioned in the Episode:

Mike Keonigs
Wayne Dyer
Jack Canfield

Guest Contact Information

Gretchen’s Website — be sure to get her free list of 52 tips for speakers
Gretchen’s Book – The Road Scholarz: Lessons From the Scenic Route

 

 

 

10 Elements to Breaking Free From Self-Sabotage

In part one of this article, I talked about what self-sabotage is, shared some symptoms, and talked about what it takes to break free from it.

I shared the list of 10 elements to break free from self-sabotage and to begin to set yourself up for the break through you want and deserve.

In this article (which is actually an excerpt from the book I’m writing on being courageous in business), I share details about embracing and implementing the 10 elements.

Become Self-Aware. All change starts here.

Each of us has blind spots – aspects of ourselves and our personality that we don’t see, yet others do.

If you’re frustrated that you haven’t been able to achieve your professional or your personal goals, you have to ask yourself why that is.

The ego often stands in the way and keep us from seeing what others see, especially if we’ve been conditioned not to see it or if the ego senses facing it will be painful. And it can be. At about 24, I had it pointed out to me that I was incredibly negative and never had a nice word to say.

Naturally I thought the person who told me that was full of it and I said that. I found myself realizing she was right and that started me on the path to knowing myself, facing what I didn’t like, and making the changes I knew I needed to make. But it’s a never-ending journey.

Accept Responsibility. Once you become Aware, your next step is to Accept Responsibility for 4 things:

  • Everything you say
  • Everything you do
  • Every action you take
  • Every result you get

Give up blaming others, the economy, technology, or anything else that you think is standing in the way of achieving your goals and creating the abundant, joyful life you keep saying you want.

No one made you angry. The button was there to get pushed.

No one forced you to spend money you don’t have on a program that’s not right for you. You decided to do it. This can be very painful to do because the ego is trying desperately to protect you. It wants anyone and anything else to be responsible for your emotional pain, your financial problems, your business frustrations, and whatever else has you upset. Believe me, I know really awful stuff can happen in our lives and in the world in general. But as I discovered in my recovery from the lingering effects of abuse and the brain injury I sustained, each of us is in control of how we choose to think and act when things happen. I always say “you have to play the hand you’re dealt.” Will you play to win?

Get Clarity. It seems so simple, doesn’t it? To just declare what you want? I’ll bet we want lots of the same things – more clients, more money, we want to charge more, we want to write more books…create more programs and help more people. But that’s not clear at all.

We must be crystal clear about WHAT we want. It should be 3-D in our minds.

I tell clients that if what you want was a suspect then your description should be so clear that a cop would arrest them.

Often what keeps us from getting clear is we get caught up in trying to figure out the how.

We don’t have to agonize about the HOW. God….the Universe….Universal Intelligence….Source….whatever term you use to describe it (for me, it’s God), will take care of the HOW.

That doesn’t mean you don’t have to take action because a big bag of money is going to show up on your doorstep every morning. What it does mean is God / the Universe has you covered. Our job is to pay attention to the signals we’re sent and say “yes” to the opportunities we’re presented.

There are two big reasons we struggle to be clear about what we want.

The first one is we truly don’t know what we want. We’ve spent so much of our lives as employees fulfilling the company’s goals and mission that we don’t know what WE want. But the bigger issue is we don’t believe we deserve what we want.

That single issue will hold you back more than you know. It’s the heart of self-sabotaging behavior and it’s a false belief. It’s not even OUR belief. It’s something we absorbed from what others – typically in power over us – told us and / or showed us.

I’m here to tell you that you’re a part of the Divine. You are worthy of everything you dream of and hope for.

Get comfortable with discomfort. Every guru, coach, consultant, and probably therapist will tell you that you need to come out of your comfort zone when you’re an entrepreneur.

That’s something we nod our heads about – who doesn’t know you need to be an “out of the box” thinker? We’re all sick and tired of hearing that worn-out phrase, especially when no one really explains it. That famous philosopher, Anonymous, once said that “self-employment is the most intense personal development program you’ll ever be involved with.” I’d add “and the most expensive” to that.

It’s true. You come face to face with crap you didn’t even realize you had or is so old you thought you’d dealt with it ages ago.

Mark Baker a speaker, coach, and trainer in the UK explained on an [episode of my podcast](http://winnieanderson.com/abused)that our disempowering beliefs resurface every time we hit the next level or get ready to make a leap to that next level.

It doesn’t matter that we dealt with our unworthiness way back when. That fear comes back as you try to up-level your game and your business. And when it does we can easily get trapped all over again.

I think this is one of the biggest aha moments I’ve ever had myself. So we’ve got to accept that these thoughts are likely to reappear until we reach a supreme level of enlightenment.

We’re going to face challenges every step of the way as we build our business. It’s up to us to embrace it and move over, under, through, or around it.

Resolve Internal Conflicts. If you’ve heard me talk about how to sell when you hate selling or how to achieve your goals, you’ve likely heard me talk about this before.

I think it’s one of the big issues that we just don’t recognize: That our Needs are in Conflict with our wants.

Each of us has needs – all humans share about 15+ needs.

Some we’re born with – food, clothing, shelter, love – and some we develop over time, like my incredible need for independence.

Let’s say you want more clients (pretty vague I know but we’ll go with it for now). Getting clients may involve having marketing or sales conversations with people and that means putting yourself at risk of rejection.

GAH!

If you have a Need for love and acceptance and if that Need is stronger than the Need(s) that would be fulfilled by landing a new client, you’re likely not going to make the sale and you could in all likelihood sabotage the meeting and not have the sale go through. Or you may never put yourself in the situation where you can have sales conversations with people because your ego is terrified of the hurt and rejection you feel when you hear “no”.

When you find yourself resisting something it’s likely because you have a Need that’s in direct conflict with the Want that you think you want. You’ve got to cross the “bridge of fear” to go from where you are to access the Want on the other side.

Detach from the Outcome. When we get upset – we’re depressed because a prospect said no or a current client isn’t going to renew…..we burst into tears because our website is infected with malware (ok that was me)…or some troll posts a negative review of a book….the reason we have an emotional reaction is because some emotional sore spot has been hit.

I grew up with a mother who called me stupid from the time I was a toddler. Even now, if I make a mistake it still stings because it raises that specter that I really am stupid.

The key here is to feel the emotion and name it. Then ask yourself “Where did this feeling come from?” Then you can acknowledge the emotion is an old one from an old wound.

I once worked with a client who sold memberships in an association. She told me that she felt that every “no” she got from a prospect was a direct rejection of her and it would depress her for days.

That’s an example of being emotionally invested in the outcome.

Those people weren’t rejecting her; they rejected membership in the association.

It was a business decision to them.

The greatest emotional freedom came for me when I realized this fact: That people make their decisions based on the information given to them and the emotional desire to have the transformation offered.

If people said no to working with me, they said no to working with me. That in no way meant I was less than a person. It wasn’t a reflection on me personally and it didn’t mean my husband or God would no longer love me.

See, that’s the problem. We’re truly looking for love in all the wrong places.

What we call “mistakes” or even “rejection” we must start to see as data and data only.

Because then we can begin to figure out how to get a result that’s closer to what we want.

If people aren’t opening your email, it doesn’t mean they hate you or that you can’t write. It could mean that your subject line didn’t grab them (well writing headlines is a skill you can learn), or your email might have landed in their spam folders (you can learn what triggers email to get in spam folders).

Allowing things to emotionally upset you gives your power away.

You’re still lovable. You’re still a good person. No matter what happens with your business.

Embrace Your Uniqueness. Teenagers are famous for this internal conflict of wanting to stand out yet wanting to fit in. As we age, we struggle with the same issue. And as corporate employees we know that there was a limit to how unique we could be.

While we wanted to stand out and be recognized so we’d get promoted (or just to keep our job!), we didn’t want to stand out too much or be seen as someone who was an egotistical jerk.

After a decade or more in corporate life we may become sogood at what we do that we don’t even see our skills as unique. There are lots of ways to position yourself – which involves claiming and embracing what makes you different. The point is to be unique in a way that matters to your audience and to amplify that.

And trust me…you ARE unique.

Be the Leader. Merriam-Webster.com defines “leader” as “a person who has commanding authority or influence”

With all the marketing noise out there, how is someone who hates selling (and who isn’t crazy about marketing either) going to stand out?

You’ve got to position yourself as the clear authority– someone who “has commanding authority or influence” to the audience you’re trying to reach and constituents you’re meant to serve.

This may create some serious discomfort as your Want – to serve and positively impact people with your work and message while earning a handsome income – comes into direct conflict with your Need for approval, for love, for acceptance.

Remember, you’ve got to cross over the bridge of fear to get to the other side. Doing things that help you stand out as a leader – writing a book, speaking, hosting a podcast, creating content in a variety of modalities that educates your audience and elevates you as the clear leader in their eyes.

The key to standing out, and the easiest way to do it, is to be the true, authentic you who stays on message and lets your audience know you have the solution to the problem they have as you inspire and invite them to take the next step in the journey.

That can be easier said than done when we’ve got secret fears and doubts.

Take Action. I once had a contract with a large government agency that shall remain nameless. They made me insane. I couldn’t get them to make a decision about anything. We would have executive committee meetings every week and every meeting we’d talk about the same things we talked about the week before.

But at some point I had to admit that I did the same things with my own business.

I’d think about a problem. I’d create plans. I’d get other people’s opinions. I’d change my plans. I’d second-guess myself to death.

Then I’d be frustrated because I didn’t have enough clients, or hadn’t finished that next book, or hadn’t launched the course. I had to admit I was afraid people would hate my message. I didn’t believe I was unique enough or that I could make a difference.

I was terrified of rejection; but since I wasn’t taking action I wasn’t giving anyone anything to reject or accept!

I discovered, that for me, the key is to take small actions on a regular basis to maintain that forward movement momentum and to build confidence with small successes.

Darren Hardy, publisher of Success Magazine and author of The Compound Effect  calls ours a “microwave **society” because we want and expect quick results when it really takes much longer to produce what we want. And often that’s because we weren’t clear to begin with or we’ve got our Needs and Wants twisted up.

Have Faith. Like most words in the glorious English language, faith has several definitions. My favorite definitions from Merriam-Webster.com are “firm belief in something for which there is no proof” and “complete trust”.

One of the things I had to admit was, that although I SAID I was a person of faith, I really didn’t have “complete trust” in God (or the Universe, Spirit, Source, etc) or in myself for that matter. I had to acknowledge that I had deeply rooted issues of self-loathing (no mere “low self-esteem” for me).

That self-loathing combined with the conflicts between my Needs and Wants was keeping me paralyzed, unable to move forward with courage, clarity, and consistency.

To truly move forward and make the big impact we believe we’re meant to make, we have to rein in our ego and belief that we know best – that sheer determination and hard work will achieve our goal — and strengthen our ability to tune into the messages we’re being sent by the Divine and become willing to act when sent the answer.

This is one of the challenges faced when setting goals and creating plans. Our corporate brain tells us to plan the last detail; but, to quote the late Wayne Dyer, “your job isn’t to ask ‘How”; it’s to say ‘YES!’

Self-sabotage is a deep issue that can become pervasive, especially when driven by the conflict between your Needs and Wants.

The root of the issue is love. We must love ourselves first. We must believe that no matter what happens to our business, we’re loved. Business success does not define us, nor lead to us deserving to be loved.

We ARE loved and at our core we ARE love.

We already have the elements we need to let the success that’s inside of us, grow to full flower.

If you’re ready to have the break through you deserve and break free from self-doubt and self-sabotage to achieve the goals you have, then head over to learn more about the Action Takers Group and check out the next enrollment opportunity.

Time to Recognize and Break Free From Self-Sabotage, part 1

As much as you say you want to achieve success, if you’re frightened of that success – believe you aren’t good enough to solve your clients’ problems…that you won’t be able to manage the increased money you’ll earn….that others in your life will feel badly when you earn more than they do, or any other potential downside you believe could result from the success you dream of – then I’m going to bet you engage in thoughts and behaviors that, at a minimum are disempowering but are more likely self-defeating.

Gurus talk about the need to get out of your comfort zone. What they don’t tell you is that you have to pack up and MOVE out of that comfort zone and completely move into the Discomfort Zone.

The challenge we face as solopreneurs is to become comfortable with discomfort.

Growing a business is all about discomfort. You push yourself to do, be, and have more and you have to do things you’ve never done before and focus on things you may have only briefly considered in your past life as a corporate professional.

It doesn’t make it any easier that you feel your financial life is on the line each time you have a conversation with a potential client or referral partner.

You may have led a department, a division, or even an entire organization and had responsibility for millions of dollars of the company’s money. You worked as a professional inside a larger organization for decades; so once you left, you lost a big part of your identity.

I know when you first went out on your own you dreamed of spending the next phase of your professional life doing what you love – that thing you do. Only later did it really sink in that you’ve got to actually inspire someone to give you money so you CAN do the thing you do.

And you discovered you hate that part.

So with a million and one things that need to be done, it can be easy to convince yourself that you need to buy this hot tool….take the guru’s course….go to the big event….learn how to create a website…because the person selling it says those things will attract clients to you and make it easier for them to say yes to you.

Without you’re having to actually put yourself in a sales conversation – which could lead to painful rejection.

But it’s time to admit what you’re really doing:  You’re sabotaging yourself.

What’s self-sabotage

Are you chronically late for important appointments? Believe you always say the wrong thing in meetings with prospects? Chronically undercharge? Do you constantly tweak your course, video, or other project and never get around to launching it? Continuously buy course after course, program after program but don’t take action to implement the information?

That’s what self-sabotage looks like.

According to PsycologyToday.com self-sabotage is behavior that “creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals.”

I describe it as thinking and acting in ways that subconsciously and continuously reinforce negative beliefs about yourself.

To understand what’s going on, tune into what you’re doing, saying, and thinking – who you’re being – and how that may negatively impact your path to achieve your goals and create the successful, abundant business and life you dream of.

Developing self-awareness can be challenging because the ego works hard to protect you. It rationalizes your thoughts, beliefs, and actions to make them seem and sound completely reasonable.

It works to protect the wounds you have to ensure you won’t hurt yourself by exposing yourself to what it sees as risky situations.

This is why small actions can be more healing than massive actions to break down the ego’s resistance and get it to stand down from its high-alert vigilance.

The problem is the ego makes those rationalizations from a place of fear and self-protection rather than from a place of abundance and opportunity.

Why do we sabotage ourselves?

There are lots of reasons we engage in self-sabotage; but the core driver is a deep sense that we’re unworthy of  and don’t deserve what we dream of.

We subconsciously engage in thoughts and actions that derail us and keep us from getting the very thing we say we want so badly: a bigger brand…to be seen as a leader in our industry segment…to have more clients….more impact…more revenue.

Self-sabotage is, at its essence, a defense mechanism. It’s the ego’s effort to protect us. So I think of it as an attempt to avoid pain.

So you don’t take the action you know you “should” take to get your business to the level of success you want. Whether that’s putting yourself “out there” more through the use of social media or video…or whether it’s creating a high-end offering….or finally writing that book or launching the podcast…or forming JV relationships.

And self-sabotage isn’t something that just those in feast or famine mode deal with.

I’ve known executives earning hundreds of thousands of dollars a year – one who was earning more than a million – who did something incredibly stupid that got them fired instantly.

You may know a sales person who seems to fall apart as she gets close to achieving her quota.

Or maybe you have a friend who makes really bad decisions with money every time he gets a big bonus or big check from a client.

Understanding where it comes from and why we do it is the easy part. Recognizing the payoff our ego thinks it gets from continuing to engage in self-sabotaging behavior is harder.

Stopping it is the real challenge.

I want you to know it’s not impossible. It takes commitment and consistent actions along with the support of a core group of people – or even just one person – who truly understands and encourages you.

It is definitely possible to let go of those beliefs and to begin to take the steps needed to live to your potential, share your great gifts with the world, and receive the full abundance you dream of and deserve.

 

Breaking Free is a choice and takes conscious action

Ending self-sabotage takes facing long-held beliefs that are actually not yours to begin with. They’re beliefs that you absorbed from the environments you’ve been in, starting with your family of origin and moving right through your life as an adult in the many roles you play and groups you’re involved in.

It requires accepting ourselves and adopting our own beliefs.

Most of all, we have to love ourselves.

And it is a process, believe me. It requires making conscious choices on a continuous basis as we re-condition our mind and establish new patterns of thinking and acting.

There are 10 elements to break free from self-sabotage and to becoming a courageous entrepreneur:

  1. Become Self-Aware
  2. Accept Responsibility
  3. Develop Clarity
  4. Detach from the Outcome
  5. Balance Needs & Wants
  6. Be the Leader
  7. Deal with Discomfort
  8. Take Action
  9. Embrace your essence
  10. Have Faith

I explain them in the next post.

 

Did you find this post helpful? Then join my community of consultants, coaches, and other expert solution providers who are determined to break free from self-doubt and disempowering patterns and break through to achieve the success they dream of and deserve by profiting from their expertise. You’ll get information, tips, and resources delivered to your inbox several times a week, and you’ll be among the first to hear about new courses, programs, and other opportunities to help you create the thriving business you dream of and deserve.

 

Come Out of the Long Shadow of Abuse


To listen to this episode, click the forward pointing arrow on the grey play bar. If you’d like to download the episode to your device in order to listen later, click this link. Then click the down arrow on the far right of the play bar and choose <Save As>. Then navigate to the folder where you want to save the recording and click OK, Save, or hit the Enter key.

 

Welcome to the Courageous Entrepreneur Show. This is the show that shares information and inspiration to help you break free from self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and disempowering patterns and break through to  create the thriving, successful business you dream of and deserve.

The show features interviews with entrepreneurs who’ve overcome amazing challenges to create success on their terms and experts who share insight and practical information that can help you get past your blocks and move forward with courage, confidence, and clarity.

The show is available in both video and audio formats on a variety of platforms including Apple Podcasts – formerly iTunes,   and on You Tube, as well as here on the site.

 

Show Notes

In 1984 or ’85 I finally admitted to myself that what I experienced growing up was abuse.

I thought that naming it was enough. That I was mature and smart and that I hadn’t let the abuse hurt me as an adult.

Boy was I wrong.

I had just stuffed it into a closet and thought if I didn’t dwell on it but just kept moving forward I’d be fine.

But it wasn’t until about 2010 when I realized that the strategies I had developed to deal with the abuse had become habits and personality traits that while they contributed to my success as a corporate professional were now actively holding me back. I was struggling to create the independent success I dreamed of and the wounds left by the abuse were incredibly deep.

Once I faced that I was apparently still struggling to overcome the emotional trauma I suffered as a child but that also continued through adulthood, I knew it was time to face it, heal from it, and move forward to create the new life I wanted.

As I started my healing journey, I threw myself into studying abuse and its impact on adults. I learned there are more of us out there then I thought.

And the impact of abuse is far reaching including physical, mental, and emotional health issues.

The effects can be deep and can last a lifetime.

Part of the struggle to heal can be attributed to the feelings of shame we victims experience and the dismissive admonishment to just get over it.

In this episode, I talk with my friend and colleague Becky Norwood, who decided to courageously tell her story and in doing so has freed others to tell theirs too. She also discovered a business hidden in the process.

First a disclaimer. None of the information shared in this or any other episode of the Courageous Entrepreneur is meant to take the place of help from a skilled professional. If you’re an adult survivor of child abuse, first of all don’t let anyone minimize what you went through or tell you that it wasn’t so bad and you should be over it.

I encourage you to get help in facing and fully recovering from your abuse by contacting a trained professional therapist or counselor. The resources shared in the show notes are not to be taken as specific endorsements. Some are recourses I used and that helped me. Your situation is your situation and they may not be helpful to you.

I do want you to know that help is out there and it is possible to come out from the long shadow cast by your abuse experience and into the warm and bright light of joyful living.

So in this episode you’ll hear Becky share: 

  • Why she decided to tell her story
  • How she handled the family reaction to publishing her book and what she did to protect the identity of those still alive
  • The benefits she’s experienced since coming clean with her story
  • How she’s using her suffering to empower others and turned her “mess” into a mission

As always, listen all the way to the end where I’ll share your reflection exercise and action step for this episode.

Guest Contact Information:

Becky’s author page on Amazon listing all her books

Becky’s website

Becky’s Group on Facebook

Email Becky: Becky (at) The Woman I Love (dot) com (type that like a normal email address)

Past Episodes That Relate to or are Mentioned in This One:

Mark Baker, From Abused to Abundant

Resources:

RAINN – The Rape and Incest National Network

The Morris Center – Adult Survivors of Child Abuse: Site includes a variety of resources and a workbook

TED talk on the health impact of childhood trauma (not just abuse)

Article about the neurological impact of child abuse

 

A Successful Second Act: An interview with Sue Ferreira

 

To listen to the episode you can click the forward arrow on the grey play bar. If you’d like to download the episode to your device to play on your own schedule, click this link then click the down arrow to the far right of the play bar. Choose Save As, then navigate to where you want to save the media on your device and click OK, Save, or Enter.

Show Notes

Welcome to the Courageous Entrepreneur Show. This is the show that shares information and inspiration to help you break free from self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and disempowering patterns and break through to create the thriving, successful business you dream of and deserve.

The show featrures interviews with entrepreneurs who’ve overcome amazing challenges to create success on their terms and experts who share insight and practical information that can help you get past your blocks and move forward with courage, confidence, and clarity.

The show is available in both video and audio format on a variety of platforms including iTunes. You Tube, in the Google Play store, and on my website Winnie Anderson.com. You’ll find this specific episode at Winnie Anderson.com/wisdom.

You may have long since given up on the thought that you can afford a comfortable retirement. Most organizations no longer provide pensions as they were known in our parents’ day.

If you live in the United States the chances are good that you haven’t saved enough or you may not have recovered from the investment losses you experienced as a result of the financial crash of 2008 or the housing market collapse.

Or maybe you enjoy working and have no real incentive or desire to stop but you would like to create additional revenue for yourself.

But how do you do that?

Is it possible to build something on your own? Isn’t that a young person’s game?

Today’s guest is someone who illustrates that you can reinvent yourself at any age, take the skills you have, and repurpose them to create a thriving independent business for yourself at any age.

A quick disclaimer here -we’re not making any promises and I strongly recommend that if you’re considering starting a consulting, coaching, or other type of business that you work with a coach who can help you get clear on what you want to do and how to build a business so you can set yourself up for success.

Today’s guest, Sue Ferreira is a fantastic example of reinvention and a “success at any age” mindset.

After 40+ years as an anesthesiologist, Sue retired with the intention of inspiring and helping others in the demographic cohort known as Baby Boomers to live their retirement dream as well.

But the stock market crash in 2008 and the housing market collapse showed Sue that too many people wouldn’t be able to live the dream so like the problem solver she is she decided to change her business focus to do something to help.

She knows that true independence comes from controlling your destiny and that includes financial independence.

She’s a best selling author, a coach certified in programs that help her clients package their wisdom to create books and courses to position themselves as experts and generate revenue from their knowledge, and she’s become an expert on leveraging video to build a brand, get your message out, and grow a business.

She’s smart and vibrant, and a joy to talk with.

So listen in as Sue shares…

  • Her story of embracing entrepreneurism herself and why she believes self-employment is critical for the Baby Boomer generation
  • Why she believes that entrepreneurs who don’t embrace video are missing out
  • Why focusing on a narrow market is important
  • How she took a risk by reaching out to one of the biggest gurus in social media today and how she’s leveraging the outcome
  • Her tips for moving forward and embracing change
  • How to stop worrying about your age and get started using video

Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode

Gary Vaynerchuk AKA Gary V.
Gary’s book – Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook

Gary’s video for Boomers and Generation Xers
Sue and Gary’s mashup

Sue’s Video Marketing 101 course

Guest Contact Information

Sue’s website – Wisdom to Wealth Mastery – get her free gifts

Have a conversation with Sue to discuss your situation and how she can help.
Sue’s programs
Sue on Facebook
Sue on You Tube

Sue on Twitter

Sue on Google+

Sue on Pinterest

Sue on Instagram

Research You Might Find Helpful

Video Marketing Statistics from Hubspot – June 2017

 

Want Support and Accountability to Help You Reach Your Goals?

Ready to join a community of like-minded entrepreneurs who will support you as you take positive steps to achieve your goals while lovingly challenging you to go farther and and step into your greatness? Do you know you need more support to stay focused, resist bright, shiny objects, and step into your greatness? Then head over to learn more about the Entrepreneur Achievers Club where we do exactly that.

 

 

The Power of Story Over Your Life

To listen to this episode here on the website, click the arrow on the far left of the play bar. If you want to download the episode to listen to later and play on your device of choice, click this link then click the small down arrow on the far right of the play bar.

 

Welcome to the Courageous Entrepreneur Show. This is the show that shares information and inspiration to help you break free from self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and disempowering patterns and break through to create the thriving, successful business you dream of and deserve.

I interview entrepreneurs who’ve overcome amazing challenges to create success on their terms and experts who share insight and practical information that can help you get past blocks and move forward with courage, confidence, and clarity.

If you find this episode useful please leave it a positive review, share it with those of your contacts who you feel would benefit from it, and be sure to subscribe so you get new episodes sent to you when they’re released. You’ll also receive practical information, useful resources, and updates about events designed to move past your obstacles and achieve your goals.

The Courageous Entrepreneur Show Episode Notes

As we move through our lives we develop an ongoing monologue…a story that we tell ourselves as we move through our day and through our lives.

This story is built on beliefs we’ve picked up from others in our lives and that we’ve created as we try to make sense of what we go through.

As you’ll discover in this episode, what we tell ourselves …our story…either sets us up for achievement or for struggle.

It’s up to us to recognize the story for what it is – a story – and choose what we’ll focus on and what we’ll let go of.

My great friend and colleague, the brilliant Jeff Rock of Swift River Coaching dot com helps us make sense of all this and begin the process of letting go what no longer serves us and amplify what does.

He’s a career coach, brand story teller, and certified personal branding strategist. Jeff’s work helps professionals uncover, embrace, and make sense of their past to leverage it so it supports their career growth, transition to a new career, or to new business success.

He’s worked with survivors of toxic workplace environments as well as entrepreneurs forging new paths. His 25+ years of corporate experience combined with his unique ability to see your potential, mine your past skills and accomplishments, and break free from the negative aspects of your story enable him to coach and support you as you transition to create life and work that brings you joy and is true to your essence. I can tell you that working with Jeff gave me permission to follow my calling and to be who I truly am. I love Jeff and his work.

So listen in as Jeff shares:

  • What exactly story is and how it impacts goal achievement and success
  • Where our story comes from
  • What influences the story we tell ourselves as we age and navigate through the world
  • Tips to help us begin to recognize the story we have and that it needs to change
  • How to decide what stories to share, who to share them with, and what to just let go of

As always, listen all the way through and I’ll share your reflection exercise and action step for this episode.

Guest Contact Information

Jeff’s website where you can get free information, tips, and resources along with an explanation of his services. Jeff offers a free consultation. Be sure to let him know you heard him on The Courageous Entrepreneur Show.

Jeff on Facebook

Jeff on Twitter

 

Resources and Links Mentioned in This Episode

Interview with Grace Bell, – Challenge Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone

The power of stories

Superbowl and Tom Brady leading the Patriots’ comeback

Apollo 13

Hidden Brain podcast

 

Extra Resources on the Topic

Our Stories, Ourselves

Life Stories: How you arrange the plot points of your life into a narrative can shape who you are and is a fundamental part of being human