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Each of us goes through a variety of challenges as we move through our lives from childhood through adulthood.
Those challenges leave us with emotional and psychological wounds that can vary from superficial scratches to deep cuts.
How we respond to those situations is unique to each of us; and what one person may feel is not a big deal, another person may experience as profoundly wounding.
Over time, an accumulation of small wounds that are unaddressed could result in a deep emotional injury.
Often without our even realizing it.
And the strategies we adopt to deal with the slings and arrows of life as well as with circumstances that are profoundly hurtful — like losing a job, getting divorced, being the victim of a crime, chronic bullying and more — can eventually become ineffective and actively hold us back when we’re out on our own as independent professionals.
In this episode of The Courageous Entrepreneur Show, you’ll meet my friend and colleague Nancy Philpott.
Nancy is a registered Nurse, a hypnotherapist, and an emotional health strategist and coach. She’s the Chief Transformation Officer for Heart Sync Wellness Center and Founder of the Emotional Resilience Challenge and the Emotional Resilience Academy.
Nancy’s specialty is helping nurses, health professionals, military service members, caregivers, and their family members recognize, prevent, and recover from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Compassion Fatigue, and burnout.
Listen in as Nancy and I discuss…
What trauma is and why it can be different for each person
How the brain processes trauma
How trauma can impact our ability to interact with the world
How being a witness to trauma can impact you.
Symptoms that could indicate you’ve got unresolved trauma issues that interfere with your goal achievement
Suggestions to help you break free and break through.
Keep in mind that we’re speaking in big terms here. We’re not doctors and we’re not giving medical advice.
This episode is designed to educate and inform. So if you think you’ve got an issue and need help, contact a local healthcare professional and if you feel as though you’re at the end of your rope, be sure to dial 911.
Remember, it’s courageous and brave to ask for help.
Be sure to stick around until the end of the interview where I’ll share your reflection exercise and action step for this episode.
Learn More About Today’s Guest – Nancy Philpott
Nancy and her team of experts provide tips, tools, and emotional investment strategies to help you build emotional resilience. Go to EmotionalResilienceChallenge.com to join the free 10-day challenge.
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Aligning faith and work isn’t easy.
When business coach Ed Rush invited me to a workshop he was putting on in San Diego that he called Ultimate Breakthrough that would specifically discuss how to merge faith with growing a business, I knew I had to attend.
It was a great event for many reasons but it really threw me for a loop.
While at that event I realized that there was a calling I was resisting. That event — and specifically Melvin’s message — helped me give in to that call and start this show.
I made sure to connect with him on Facebook and I make sure to watch his daily videos for my “daily dose of Melvin”.
If you’ve ever felt trapped in a pit of unworthiness…knowing you were called for more but afraid to take action, then I hope this episode speaks to you.
My guest grew up in apartheid South Africa as one of six children in a Hindu family. They were incredibly poor living in a tin shack with no running water. But he was greatly influenced by his mother and her belief in Jesus.
She used to tell him that if he ever wanted anything he was to pray to Jesus.
Melvin went from spending $2 to rent an audio tape of the legendary speaker Zig Ziglar to becoming a vice president in the Ziglar organization. Today, he’s a an advisor to CEOs, political leaders, and entrepreneurs looking to take themselves, their countries, and their businesses to new heights of success in a way that’s consistent with their faith.
In this episode of The Courageous Entrepreneur show Melvin reveals…
The role faith plays in helping us break free from the chains of trauma
How to deal with feelings of unworthiness and embrace the fact that Jesus is our brother
To listen to this audio interview, click the right facing arrow on the grey play bar. If you’d like to download the episode, right click this link and choose Save As, then rename the recording if you’d like and save it to the location you prefer.
There are a million things that need to be done as you grow and run a business. And since we entrepreneurs tend to share certain characteristics like a love of learning, a tendency to be early adopters of technology, and creative idea machines it can be easy to have a million projects in various stages of launching that never get anywhere.
And as the stress and frustration mount it can be easy to frantically try new things, throw new ideas and projects at the wall to make something stick when the answer might in fact be the opposite.
As a productivity coach and host of Crusher™TV, Alan Brown teaches productivity “brain hacks” to crazy-busy professionals and entrepreneurs.
Alan is the #1 Best-Selling author of “Zen and the Art of Productivity: 27 Easy Ways to Have More Time, Earn More Money and Live Happier.”
A featured speaker in the U.S. and Europe, including a TEDx Talk, he uses his weekly online TV show, at CrusherTV.com, to help people live to their potential by “unleashing the power of their brains.”
Listen in and hear Alan reveal…
The percentage of the population believed to be undiagnosed with ADHD
Why ADHD-ers engage in risky behaviors
Things we commonly tell ourselves when we struggle with ADHD
Things to reflect on if you’re wondering if you may have ADHD
We all have times when we want feedback on something we’re working on. Sure, we’re independent entrepreneurs but we all like to know what others think before we go too far down a rabbit hole or discover too late that what we’re working on isn’t going to fly.
This is one of the best things about Facebook and especially Facebook Groups, where contacts share their opinions and where you can get feedback pretty quickly.
I see lots of people asking for help throughout any given day and I’ve noticed some common mistakes made. We’ve all tripped over at least one of these. Which ones keep you from getting and benefiting from great feedback?
Posting a question you can google the answer to and not explaining why you’re asking. If you don’t want to weed through reviews on Yelp or you want to hear opinions from people you trust (and studies show that the opinion of total strangers are trusted more than advertisements or brand claims). But if it’s a google-able question you’re posting you run the risk of being ignored by people and coming across as unsophisticated or worse – lazy.
Posting in a group whose members aren’t a good fit for what you want to know. Either they don’t resemble those you want to reach or they’re trying to reach clients different from your market or they’re style is completely different. I asked for feedback in a group full of people who are very salesy. That was a mistake because I’m not and neither are my clients so I wasted my time and the time of those who responded to my question.
Not explaining what you want people to focus on. Ask a general question like “will you review my sales page” and you run the risk of getting feedback on things you didn’t want and people end up wasting their time. If you’re sharing draft logos you’re choosing between explain what it’s for, how it will be used, and who the target market is. When I review things like a book’s cover, outline, or marketing strategy I need to know who the ideal reader is, what the book’s primary objective is, and who is the primary audience. The context can change a lot about how someone views something.
Asking for a very fast turnaround on something that takes longer than a minute or two. I had an acquaintance on Facebook who would often ask for feedback on things like a guest blog post, a proposal, or other important document and she’d need a response in an hour or less. I know great opportunities sometimes come up suddenly and I can appreciate you want an extra pair of eyes to look at something important like a proposal; but it’s unlikely someone is going to drop everything to review your multi-page document. And if they do, it’s unlikely they’ll be able to give you the thoughtful opinion they otherwise would have.
Not being grateful. Don’t just “like” their answer. At least publicly thank the person. But even better is to practice good karma and do something to repay that person. A testimonial they can use on their website or a LinkedIn recommendation if you’re connected there would be nice. Maybe do a quick Facebook Live video and sing the person’s praises. It takes 30 seconds but means a lot to someone.
Asking for a favor that’s just too big and out of alignment with your overall relationship. I had someone ask me to buy her 10$ book, read it over the weekend, and “leave a great review on Amazon”. I’m sorry, but even if I had time to read your book over the weekend and even if it was truly great I’m not paying $10 to do it. Send complimentary PDFs to people you want reviews from and ask them to leave a review when they can.
Wanting applause rather than honest feedback. I’m in a lot of groups on Facebook. People might share a lot of creative work — book covers, sales pages, a draft of their logo, and more. Often I see responses to their request that are very thoughtful and full of good advice (this is one of the biggest reasons I love Facebook). But then I’ve seen the poster respond in a way that comes across as defensive, using words that seem very harsh or even snarky. I’ve even seen people argue with the responders. This not only guarantees you won’t get help again but it can lead to you being tossed out of the group.
Allowing the feedback to confuse your or take you off course. Now, the whole point of getting feedback is to include outside perspectives and to help you see things you otherwise wouldn’t or point out things you haven’t considered. But feedback and opinions are like noses – everyone has one. And if you have any sort of self-doubt issues, you can get caught up in bouncing from opinion to opinion and never moving forward.
Before you ask for feedback or for people’s opinions about something you’re working on get clear about what you’re asking for, why you’re asking, who you’re asking, and what you’ll do with the opinions you get.
Ultimately you’re responsible for the results you get and being courageous means cultivating the ability to ask for and receive feedback, while having the confidence that you know enough and are good enough already to achieve your goals.
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Welcome to the Courageous Entrepreneur Show. This is the show that shares information and inspiration to help you break free from self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and disempowering patterns and break through to create the thriving, successful business you dream of and deserve.
The show features interviews with entrepreneurs who’ve overcome amazing challenges to create success on their terms and experts who share insight and practical information to help you get past your blocks and move forward with courage, confidence, and clarity.
The show is available in both video and audio format on a variety of platforms including iTunes, You Tube, and on my website.
This episode along with the links and resources we mention can be found at Winnie Anderson dot com slash depression
You know, we have no problem talking about physical health issues. Someone asks how you’re doing and you say OK except my back is hurting today or I’m getting my knee replaced next week.
But when we have an emotional or mental health issue it’s difficult to admit and that can make it difficult to get help for.
Especially when you’re an entrepreneur.
It’s no secret that depression can be a problem for entrepreneurs and publications including the Guardian, Forbes, Inc, entrepreneur, fortune, and business insider have written about it. I’ll include links in the show notes to some of those articles.
So when I saw my friend and colleague Shanna Landoldt come clean about dealing with depression on FB I was floored.
I was impressed by her courage but also blown away because I never suspected she wrestled with the same issue I’ve wrestled with my entire life.
Shanna is a top recruiter and highly sought after media authority as a Career and LinkedIn Expert. She has been featured all across North America on NBC, ABC, CBS, FOX, CityTV & CTV.
She has authored 6 books and is a 4x #1 International Best Selling Author. She works with authors to launch their books as #1 Best Sellers on Amazon.
Entrepreneurs, organizations and people interested in Career Advancement hire Shanna to create compelling LinkedIn Profiles that get them found for their expertise.
Organizations hire Shanna as a Keynote Speaker at Industry Events to share how to create a personal brand in your business using Social Media & LinkedIn.
So listen in as Shanna shares…
What made her admit she has depression and the aftermath of that admission
How long she’s been dealing with this and how it first manifested
The shocking incident that made her realize she really had a problem and needed help
How depression has impacted her professionally and how she manages it
Her tips for other entrepreneurs who deal with depression and who want to be successful inspite of it.
Shanna is an expert at creating LinkedIn profiles that get people found. If you want to learn more visit this link and check out her LinkedIn Profile Writing Service. When you talk to her be sure to tell you that you watched / heard her interview with me on The Courageous Entrepreneur Show! You’ll save $100.
This an edited episode of my livestream show, The Courageous Entrepreneur. It airs Monday through Friday at 11:30am ET on Facebook. You can visit my business page to watch all of the unedited videos and Like the page to get notified when I go live.
Once we make the decision to go out on our own, it’s inevitable that we’ll start comparing ourselves to others who are also self-employed.
This type of behavior is deeply ingrained in us and can be seen in toddlers who recognize that another child has something they don’t and then baby B tries to take that thing away from baby A.
Growing up we’re compared to siblings, classmates, and neighbors in addition to seeing mass media and comparing ourselves to the rail thin models, journalists, and actors.
There’s healthy comparison which can work to empower us and then there’s unhealthy comparison which works to disempower and demoralize us.
Let’s look at the two of them.
Healthy comparison happens when you’re doing research and you look at the leaders in your profession or industry and you search for best practices and what works with the focus on reducing your learning curve or your path on the way to a specific outcome.
You look at websites for what’s working in terms of layout and content. You study offerings to see how things are packaged.
Then you think about what you’ve found and borrow what you like that works and modify it to fit yourself and your background.
During healthy comparison you don’t judge yourself as lacking or the other person as better than you. They’re where they are on their path and you’re where you are on yours.
Unhealthy comparison is when you look at what others do and focus on your inadequacy.
They’ve got a better website. They’re more successful. They’re more attractive. They speak better. Their message is more powerful.
Here the focus is not on what you can learn from them but on how lacking you are.
For an entrepreneur this is the path to depression, frustration, and misery.
This sort of comparison can happen even in supposedly supportive groups like a mastermind, accountability, or course group and that can lead to competition within the group.
But that’s not exactly negative.
The difference between healthy competition and unhealthy competition is the focus and interpretation of things.
Healthy competition is when the success of one person doesn’t mean failure for another. Where each member of the group is truly happy for the other and uses their colleague’s success as inspiration. Another’s success can be motivating. This happened with me when I met my friend John Cote, the host of the podcast Healthcare Elsewhere.
I met John not long after he launched the show and found his story so inspiring that I decided to launch my own show.
John’s attitude was “if I can do it anyone can” and I believed that too.
But I think we all know the pain of comparing ourselves – especially in business – and finding ourselves lacking. Like I said, it can lead to depression and demotivation.
So how do you stop comparing yourself in a negative way?
Here are 7 things you can do.
Be Grateful. This is a critical part of a successful attitude and triggers you energetically to become more attractive in every way. Think about it. Have you ever worked with ungrateful people? They never said thank you for help they got. They had this sense of entitlement every time the company or anyone else gave them something. They complain a lot because things aren’t good enough. Be grateful in all things for what you have. When you focus on the positive you attract people and opportunities.
Be Happy for Others. I had to face the fact that at one point I was a very unhappy person. And I was jealous about the opportunities and successes that others got. Why didn’t good things happen to me? When I realized what I was thinking and how out of alignment those thoughts were with what I said I believed in my heart, I worked to become truly happy for others. I not only would tell them congratulations but I started sending notes and cards. I’d leave post-it notes for co-workers celebrating the smallest thing they did. I bought silly gifts for friends who got promotions. And I focused on becoming the best at what I did by building on my strengths and not focusing as much on my non-strengths.
Examine your commitment. Sometimes we’ve been seduced into believing there’s a short cut to our goal. You might be able to avoid mistakes by following someone else’s path but you still have to make your own. So If you see someone making strides that you’re not, study what they’re doing. Would you be willing to make the sacrifices they made to get where they are? There’s an old saying that “everyone wants to be an author but no one wants to write the book.” Meaning that we might want the outcome but may not want to do the work to get it. How badly do you want to achieve something and why. Connecting to your core motivation can help you strengthen your commitment. But focus on what your achievement will do for others because the core mission we all share is to be in service to others.
Be crystal clear on your goals. “More money”…”more clients”….wanting to “serve more people” isn’t clarity. A penny is more money and I know I want more than that. Write your goals down (by hand if at all possible) and let them rest for a few days. If you read them and can ask questions about them then they’re not clear. The more clear you become the easier it is for your brain to focus on the outcome and support you to make it happen. And of course focus on what you DO want, not what you don’t.
Focus on your own mission. Each of us has our own path to walk. Embrace your own mission of service and focus on that “inch wide and a mile deep” segment of the population you most want to serve. And truly see your work as a mission. When you do and you communicate what that is then those who are inspired by it while get behind you. You become easier to refer and easier to identify as an expert.
Track your results. As legendary management guru Peter Drucker said, “What gets measured gets improved.”From monitoring our diets by writing down what we eat, to improving our fitness by tracking our steps, humans are motivated by tracking results. This is the only way you can really treat your business like a business. And it can inspire incremental improvements over your own (or your team’s) past performance. When I work with clients, this is an important part of supporting them with their goal attainment. It’s often the micro movements — toward a clear goal — that deliver the results we want.
Practice good self care. Being self-employed is exciting and depressing all at the same time. It’s frustrating and liberating. It’s full of dichotomies and trade-offs. And while every entrepreneur works long hours building their business, we can’t afford not to take good care of ourselves. Sleeping well, working out, eating healthy food are all important in helping us manage our emotional state. Work too many 20 hour days and you’ll become cranky and miserable. It’s hard not to compare yourself to someone wildly successful who looks like they’ve got this great life with plenty of time off. But don’t do it. Remember, you’re seeing the outside that they likely work hard to control. Who knows what they wrestle with to make their life look so good.
Change your inner monologue. Each of us has this constant chatter that runs through our heads nearly all day long. We figure out problems….we comment on the news….all inside our heads. Well that inner monologue can descend into a raging inner critic that can leave you comparing yourself to everyone from that skinny neighbor who runs past your office window every day to the Facebook friend who continuously posts these “Love my life!” posts. While that might sound like you (’cause after all it IS your voice), it’s not you. It’s the voice of your worst critic from your past. Or it’s the voice of a situational critic — also from your past. Tell them to shut up. Start tuning in to what you’re saying to yourself, and change the script. Throw out the old tapes. They’re not serving you anyway. Be kind. Especially to yourself.
Build relationships that support you. This is critical. Even if you’re an introvert like me, the chances are good you reach a point where you need to talk to actual adult humans. Cats are nice but not the same. There’s a reason prisons use solitary confinement as a punishment. So join productive and emotionally supportive groups online as well as in person and cultivate relationships with others who are similar to you. One of the great bonuses of taking courses or attending events is they often have a Facebook group. I’ve made some wonderful friendships with people all over the world as a result of online groups.
Celebrate. This is an important part of the whole business building, Law of Attraction stuff. I am working to improve on this. Too often we go from task to task, client to client, project to project without taking time to truly reward ourselves for our achievements. And if you’re like me — an adult survivor of child abuse — this may truly be a struggle. Those old tapes I mentioned in number 8 will replay and tell you that you don’t deserve to treat yourself. But oh yes you do. It’s demoralizing to continue to work without being rewarded. And you really do deserve to celebrate. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. I treat myself to lunch on the sofa with one of my three cats and a magazine. Sometimes I’ll go for a walk down to the river a few blocks away and just savor the quiet. Do something for yourself that feels like an indulgence. We know that gratitude is an important part of telling the Universe you’re ready for more. I think it’s also an important part of telling God thank you for the blessings you have.
Focusing on your own issues…taking care of yourself…being grateful for everything in your life…all of that is important for you to manage your stress, stay motivated, and to continue growing in a healthy way.
This video is an edited recording of my live show. Below is a post based on this video. The Courageous Entrepreneur airs live on Facebook Mondays through Fridays at 11:30am ET. If you’re on Facebook, Like my business page to get notified of when I’m going live. I also share tips and strategies to break free from the chains of disempowering patterns, limiting beliefs, and self-sabotage. You can also send me a Friend request on my personal page.
I had 2 people in the last 4 weeks refer to me as “authentic.”
Merriam-webster.com has several definitions for Authentic including “worthy of acceptance or belief”; “not false or imitation”; and “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character”.
I’ve always thought of that term — “authentic” — as referring to people are are transparent…they don’t hide things.
I asked a Facebook group for what they’re trying to communicate about a person when they refer to them as “authentic” and this is what a couple of them said…
“They are ‘real’, they show who they are without apology, what you see is what you get, warts and all.” – Alan Cohen
“That their actions, behaviors, and words. How they treat others and how they show up when they think it doesn’t matter lines up with what they espouse.” – Meshell R. Baker
So calling someone authentic is high praise.
But being authentic is scary. Especially for someone like me who’s an introvert.
I do videos because I don’t want really want to leave my house.
Authenticity is scary because we risk being judged and we risk rejection.
Is there a limit to being authentic? If you decide to embrace authenticity, does that mean you’ve got to share every detail of your life and risk becoming one of the Kardashians?
I don’t think so.
But the benefits of being more of the real you and letting others see that are that it increases your Know-Like-Trust Quotient or your KLT-Q.
And we know that we all want to work with experts but we want to know, like, and trust those people.
We want to know the expert or authority “gets” us. Often that comes from learning about their backstory or their “origin” story.
So being fully you is an important part of positioning and pre-selling your services to attract great clients.
How do you become more authentic?
You apply these 3 components…
Be true to yourself. This can be hard because after being employees for so long it’s difficult to know what our own beliefs and values are. I think this requires a lot of introspection in order to uncover your values but it also requires a lot of courage to live and act in a way that’s consistent with them because of that fear of rejection.
There’s a level of transparency that’s required for someone to be called “authentic”. You convey your personality in many ways….in your visual branding, your verbal branding, and in the amount of information and back story you share.
This is another reason why I forced myself to embrace video. It allows you to see and hear me and get a feel for my personality and beliefs. It can be hard to communicate that in writing.
Make values-based choices. We often project emotions, values, and beliefs on to other people when we hear what they say and watch what they do. We’re always on the alert for any inconsistency. For others to believe you’re making values-based choices your values need to be visible and audible to others. This again is why I love livestreaming and podcasting. Whether you’re a guest on someone else’s show or you decide to step out and host one yourself your voice and expressions are powerful communicators. To be seen as making values-based choices you need to be comfortable sharing your values.
That can be very difficult for some of us.
So how do you be true to yourself, be transparent, and communicate that you make values-based choices?
Here are 5 tactics.
Create a manifesto or a credo. That’s a statement of beliefs. It can be in narrative form a la Jerry Maguire or it can be a list of beliefs. Either way it shows people what you stand for . You can decide to post it where people can easily see it — like on your About page or somewhere else — or you can keep it for yourself and your team. It can act as a reminder of what you stand for.
Let people in. This is particularly important when you run a small business, especially when you’re the brand of the business. I’m pretty reserved on social media – I typically don’t talk politics. I don’t talk very much about family. But every now and then I talk about my cats and show pictures of them. I sometimes ask for prayers for people who are sick. I share animal videos, especially if they’re really cute or really silly. I think of Facebook as where I work and I share the same sort of things with my virtual office mates as I would with live ones.
Don’t use the fact that you’re an introvert as an excuse to stay hidden and to not join the conversation. People truly want to know more about you, about why you started your business, and about who you are. Remember, we make decisions based on emotions and we work with people we know, like, and trust. If you don’t let people in then they aren’t going to have much to base their decisions on.
Use real pictures. People want to see you. They want a peak inside your life and work. So minimize the use of stock photography on your website. Showing real pictures of you, your team, your office and other real objects can help others create a connection with you.
Take a stand . The problem with trying to please everyone is you really please very few people if any. If you truly want to attract clients rather than chase after them, you’ve got to make it clear what you stand for. Clearly communicate your point of view (POV). Be clear on the problem you solve, the solution you offer, and the outcome or transformation you provide. The more people understand what you’re for the more they can feel a connection and see themselves working with you.
Don’t try to be perfect. It’s easy to be afraid to make mistakes. After all, we spent decades in corporate life watching others be punished for their mistakes. We also lived with the fear of being seen as week or not good enough. And if you have a natural tendency towards perfectionism corporate life only encouraged that. And out on your own it can be easy to carry those beliefs with you. Do your best. Manage client expectations. Be honest about what you can and can’t do and don’t exaggerate or lie. It’s ok to admit your mistakes. And it’s ok to share negatives from your past. Especially if it shows you as human and helps your audience relate to you.
Being authentic doesn’t mean that you over-share and provide a nonstop stream of social media posts about every aspect of your life.
But it does mean finding a way to come out of your shell and create more of connection with your audience by sharing more of yourself.
More of your true self.
You maybe be pleasantly surprised to find it’s easier to create what you always wanted – a large, passionate following that sees you as you really are and values you because of it.
Building a consulting, coaching, or other business as an expert problem solver can be
isolating, frustrating, and depressing.
It feels like a never-ending process of trying to get noticed, inspire those who notice you to learn more, and then invite them to take the next step to work with you.
All of those things are very challenging for 4 big reasons.
Getting attention is a challenge because there are so many distractions
You have to figure out where those you want to reach are and where they’re most open to your message
While you’re trying to educate and inspire them they’re also dealing with a lot of other issues that may or may not be more important than the problem you solve.
People will choose to work with people who they believe are experts. One of the things that impacts our perception of someone else as an expert is we see them more and hear more about them then we do others. This is part of building a brand for yourself and your business.
You can’t change that.
But what you can do is embrace 5 actions that will have a big impact on growing your business and attracting more potential clients and opportunities…
Get crystal clear on your message including the problem you solve, the impact of that problem, and the outcome you deliver. Best selling author Mike Michalowicz who wrote Toiletpaper Entrepreneur, the Pumpkin Plan, Profit First, and Surge does this in the form of what he calls a Rally Cry. (Yes, I know that’s grammatically incorrect but it’s what HE calls it.) This is like a cross between a mission and a tagline. His cry is to eradicate entrepreneurial poverty. When you see your work as the mission it really is it can help you stay focused and inspired.
Narrow your focus. As counter-intuitive as it is, narrowing your focus is a great way to make it easier to get noticed because it’s like you gave yourself permission to be the expert. It’s easier to can be seen as the go-to person to the specific audience that has that specific problem. It gives you permission to ignore things that aren’t in that focus. I call this “a slice of a slice”. The more crowded the market the more you have to specialize. There’s one specific audience you want to talk to. They’re the ones who will recognize you as the expert you are because they relate to your background and achievements. They recognize and value your knowledege, skills, abilities, and experience.
Put yourself out there in a big way and do it consistently. This is where the conflict between our needs and wants comes in. There’s a saying that you’ve got to fail forward fast. Those of us who are corporate escapees can have a real block around this and for those of us who are recovering perfectionists it’s even worse. In corporate life I’ll bet you saw people who made mistakes and got punished for them. They got chewed out. Their reputation was damaged. They may have gotten demoted. Some got fired. So it can be terrifying to put yourself out there in a big way because you’re emotionally scarred after seeing or experiencing that. Corporate life didn’t really set us up for success as independent professionals and entrepreneurs. So you’ve got to reconcile these emotions and it requires detaching from the outcome. It also requires developing the self-love and faith in yourself so your self-esteem isn’t at risk when you make an offer that no one takes you up on or you present a proposal and get told no.There’s any number of strategies you can apply and tactics you can accomplish to put yourself out there and attract clients. But they have to be done in a consistent manner. The fact that you put up a blog post and it didn’t get any traffic or that you put up a video and no one came to see it live doesn’t mean it’s not working. We cognitively know it will take more effort than that but we’re still disappointed when it doesn’t work. We want to be that overnight success that others seem to be. But in reality it takes effort. And it takes changing the effort you’re expending. You don’t need to take huge action but instead take small actions, moving forward, and you’ll make that next big leap.
Find a supportive community and participate in it. Going out on your own is a courageous move. But at the same time it’s incredibly isolating since most of the people you know probably can’t relate to you now. But as a social animal, you do need to find supportive peers who can encourage you, cheer you, and gently push you while sharing their knowledge and feedback with you.
Take action. There’s a great image I saw on Facebook designed by Sylvia Duckworth. It’s called the Iceberg Illusion. It shows the tip of the iceberg that’s above the water and that’s labeled “success” Then it shows the giant piece of the iceberg and all of the effort that’s going on below the surface that people don’t see. Do something. Everyday do small actions that move your toward your ultimate goal. And never give up.
So your reflection exercise for today is to think about what you’re doing to get known and be seen along with the emotions that’s bringing up and how you’re managing them.
And your action step is to make a list of all of the potential actions you could take to attract potential clients. Then identify what you’re notwilling to do and what you arewilling to do. Once you’ve got a handle on what you’re not willing to do you’ve got to ask yourself if you’re willing to accept that your movement may take more time than you want it to.
Look at your calendar and plan to do at least one thing to attract potential clients every day. You want to eventually aim for doing at least 5 things every day that will make you more visible and raise your Know-Like-Trust Quotient with those you’d like to connect with — whether they’re potential clients, potential referral partners, or potential collaboration partners.
Welcome to the Courageous Entrepreneur Show. This is the show that shares information and inspiration to help you break free from self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and disempowering patterns and break through to create the thriving, successful business you dream of and deserve.
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In today’s episode, leadership expert Dr. Sylvia LaFair discusses how behavior patterns that kept us safe as children actively hold us back from achieving the success we want.